(Click the picture or use the link to watch the six-minute video
Why is it bad to be the red flag person?
- You might not get to use the full power of your brain or experience if people don’t want you on their teams.
- Red flag people cause others to waste time and energy trying to accommodate them or fix their issues.
- It can be lonely when no one wants to be around you.
- Being a downer might go against your personal mission or goals.
- You might get stuck in a spot along your career journey where you don’t want to stay.
- It is exhausting to be so negative.
We have feelings all day long without thinking about them, and when we don’t pay attention to them, the feelings can cause us to become a negative force in the office. They can cause us to become the Red Flag people.
While I do not want anyone reading this to be a Red Flag
person, I also do not want you to repress your feelings. Some “gurus” tell us
not to take things personally or to leave our feelings at the door as we arrive
at work. But, I don’t think that helps either.
- Slow down, breath, pause and get used to your feelings. Understanding your feelings can help you deliberately adapt your behavior. Don’t repress your feelings; identify them.
- Decide how you need to act to maintain your professional relationships and reputation. You don’t have to address the feelings right away, but you do have to choose your behavior. Unlike a three-year old whose tantrums are cute to onlookers, we can control our behavior.
- Refrain from over-sharing feelings, especially regarding personal matters that will be highly scrutinized.
- Use support resources like your workplace friends, manager, coach, or EAP.
- Honor personal boundaries—your own and others’. Certain topics are not ideal for the workplace and could make colleagues uncomfortable, so be aware of others’ personal boundaries.
- If you can’t focus, take time off. The best professionals know when they need to take themselves out of the game to recuperate.
- Respect your colleagues’ time. Your best friends at work have their own work to complete each day, and they have their own personal issues to manage.
- Respect your job, team, and the Institute by doing great work. If you’ve decided you can show up for work, then be a stellar teammate while you are here.
- Once the situation improves, thank the people who supported you through it.